When I first began this whole SAHM gig, I had no idea what I was doing. I’d only babysat once or twice as a teenager, I’d never changed a diaper, and, to be honest, kids who are of speaking age have always kind of intimidated me.
You just never know what they’re going to say…
The only thing I knew was my job, so you can imagine what kind of wake-up call I had when my daughter was born.
The first year was filled with many highs and lows.
Often more lows.
I guess I thought things would be different than they were.
But I quickly learned that life is not the same as it is portrayed on TV, and that it was up to me to make sense of my new life as a SAHM and find a way to make it work so ALL of us are happy.
That’s right. I need to be happy too.
Or drunk.
Either or.
So in the last few months, I’ve learned how to make my new gig work for me without keeping a steady stream of booze in my body.
And it’s working.
And now, as a present to you, I’m sharing my tips on how I maintain my sanity as a SAHM.
You’re welcome.
1. Dry cleaners need my business to stay afloat, so I pawn off as much of our clothes on them as I can financially justify on a weekly basis.
2. A vacuum cleaner, a few sheets of paper towel, and a bottle of windex can make this place look just as clean in 15 minutes as a full 3-hour scrub-down can.
3. A little Dora the Explorer at mealtimes is good for everyone. Especially me.
4. Never run out of wine. Ever.
5. As long as I make at least 4 good meals a week, leftovers, sandwiches, and sushi takeout is fine the rest of the time.
6. Never waste time preparing dinner during naptime – the more disheveled I look when my husband gets home from work, the more he believes I am run off my feet all day long.
7. When I’m waking up at 6 am every day of the week, there’s a fine line between 1 glass of wine and 2.
8. Throwing on a pair of jeans, a tight top, and applying a little lip gloss moments before my husband gets home gives the illusion that I’ve had a productive day. To both of us.
9. Spending a couple extra bucks on Huggies Slip On diapers does wonders for my blood pressure.
10. I’m never going to be my mother, and that’s okay…because I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t want to wake up next to her in the mornings.
How do YOU maintain your sanity as a SAHM?
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